Trying out fiction

I have been dabbling with fiction for some time now, and this has given me a chance to accumulate some more rejection letters, here is one such attempt returned to me by a kind editor...

Unwelcome Guest

Crackety crack, my eyes fly open, was it real or was it my fertile imagination at play even during sleep? I close my eyes but open it an instant later, this time I am sure, it is real. I sit up and train my torch towards the source of sound - the balcony door. Yes, I do seem to have a visitor in the dead of the night.

I almost scream but the hands of the clock poised around the numeral three still me into silence. I gather all the courage I have at my disposal at that time and switch on the light, but I see no one. I push open the balcony door in a vain attempt at bravery, then I sit down to wait and watch.

Minutes tick by, and as sleep threatens to overwhelm, I ponder, is my visitor smarter than me? My eyelids wobble under the weight of slumber; a slight movement jerks it open in a jiffy. Now I see my tiny guest making a move towards the door, whew thank goodness - I jump up to close the door but I am too fast and the visitor comes back to the safety of my room.

Seconds tick past, I see the rat slowly making a move again, I wait till it is well and truly outside, then I jump and close the door. I sleep in peace, "I am smarter than my rodent visitor"